Is starting to see more of 'her' Darius showing through ... the cuddly, bubbly, happy, helpful boy she knows is in him ... and a gradual, almost glacial, lessening of the anxious, angry, rage filled mini-monster who invaded her home back in September.
Progress is being made and, interestingly, FB Memories is helping me understand and appreciate how incremental Amaya's improvements were when she came to us. It's helping me remember how far she has come and how much work it was to get her to a point where she could figure out for herself that life was better when the home was calm and tempers (hers and that of others) were controlled.
It's encouraging and I need that.
I don't know if it is because him being a boy is dredging up garbage I haven't dealt with from when my boys were little (Gods know that is likely enough) or if it's because I'm that much older than I was with Amaya but this time the work is hard. I'm spending a great deal of time counting ... often with my eyes squeezed tight shut to increase my focus ... to 10 before responding to Darius' antics.
The strength of my reactions is eye opening and, as such, puts me on notice that I really have to watch and moderate them if I want to achieve my goal of bringing the best of the boy out in him. The key is to sensitized him to a gentle response to his actions ... He is so used to the loud, aggressive, over the top reactions of an abusive household that he can't yet respond to a subtle correction. And Amaya going back and forth from protective little-mama to aggravated or nagging big sister ups the challenge level significantly.
Well, no one's ever claimed personal growth and self-mastery was easy, eh?
Darius too will get there ...
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