Even as I mentioned in the vid, there's been nary a single response ... depressing but not a surprise.
I'm shaky today ... It's hard to breathe and I'm doing my best to be present enough to catch myself when I am doing the apical thing. I'm quite jumpy enough as it is without pinging my fight or flight instincts by breathing quick and shallow.
Got caught by surprise by a heartbreaking scene in the Netflix movie 'Born in China' wherein they had been following the adventures of several different animals and one of them was shown as having died ... it was an adult female snow leopard (my favorite of the cats) ... and the image caused such an emotional shock that I actually said aloud "I didn't need to see that"
First chink in my armour of dissociation ... tears did run while I did my best to breathe regularly through it.
Then I got an email from our Shih Tzu breeder wishing us a Happy Thanksgiving and asking how everyone is doing. I truly love my breeders ... they care so much not only about the dogs they adopt out but also the families they become part of. Of course, providing a quick update included talking about M'Lady ... so the tears are back.
